Search and Categories

Friendships….The Good,The Bad And The ugly

There seems to be 3 subjects prevailing in my universe lately…..Super Delegates, VFD, and freindships and all that they entail!

Well, today I will address friendships…..

You start out life making friends purely by those chosen for you by your mother and who she is friends with culminating in playgroups and playdates.

Expanding on your base of friends comes slow as you grow and enter the neighborhood you reside in whatever house and whatever area of town your folks inhabit for however long they stay….or not.

Further branching out comes from school, pre, grade, the dreaded….middle school, high school…. job changes by your parents resulting in moving far away, means doubling the expansion of finding friends due to all the above being new…….back to ground zero.

In your childhood years…..friendships become a sort of hierarchy with those inevitable all encompassing cliques….you’re in, you’re out….you’re a joiner, you’re not…..they leave you alone, they drive you crazy!

Middle school can be a nightmare….high school a little less…college, bringing independence from home, cliques and friends!

Roommates are friends for life or a first encounter with finding those you did not choose to be in close proximity to, while presenting you with an interesting test of what you will deal with later on in life…be it with work, neighbors, or being in organizations.

The entry into the workforce brings into play a new dynamic of finding…kindred spirits, if you are lucky…those with similar backgrounds and experiences…to dealing daily with those who seem to be from other planets entirely!

The cycle continues on when suddenly there is marriage (or not), babies ……with playgroups and playdates! (See where I’m going here?)

The role is different of course… the parental role…this go round….but the feelings are the same.

You pull away from those friends that are single, childless, not doing as well, living with different priorities, and different hours of wake.

From Lamaze group, to park encounters…neighbors in whatever street you live on for however long…..school moms….after school activities moms… school volunteer moms…. social interactions, clubs, friends of your or your spouses business…. friends come with convenience and time restrictions never dealt with before.

Kids are grown….the cycle is now their’s to repeat and you are on your own…..

A move….a retirement….at ground zero once more.

What remains the same though…you meet your neighbors, you get involved and hopefully you meet a kindred spirit… it always makes the unknown so much easier to digest.

The dynamics though are consistent….and here is how…..

just like the first playgroup…playdate….neighborhood…school…work…date….encounter…..

A cause has brought a group together, it’s new, it’s exciting, it’s time consuming…..fast friendships develop from the drive to make this cause a success.

Old stories are new to those who have just met, differences are intriguing….so instant acceptance and caution of old is somehow thrown to the wind.

But just like any relationship, love, work and friends…..cracks start to show….comfort levels appear….barriers are put up….and friendships are put into context.

You still have the same goals, you just want to step away, no harm…no foul….just how friendships work…. no winners…no losers…..no need to crucify!

You now become what is called…..acquaintances!

Not enemies….cliques did hopefully die out long ago….acquaintance….I can live with that!

Post Division