Search and Categories

Here’s The Scoop … A Different World …

THE  TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGING….

“A Different World
Bucky Covington

We were born to mothers who smoked and drank
Our cribs were covered in lead based paint
No child proof lids no seat belts in cars
Rode bikes with no helmets and still here we are, still here we are
We got daddy’s belt when we misbehaved
Had three TV channels you got up to change
No video games and no satellite
All we had were friends and they were outside, playin’ outside

Chorus
It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world

School always started the same every day
The pledge of allegiance then someone would pray
Not every kid made the team when they tried
We got disappointed and that was all right, we turned out all right

Chorus

Bridge
No bottled water, we drank from a garden hose
And every Sunday, all the stores were closed

Chorus

Chorus

It was a different world

[Thanks to 2step for lyrics]”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AlrFOBmdVI

Dear Readers…. Timing is everything inside  and outside of politics…and it was particularly amusing when the very day this writer strolled into THE mega-baby store aka Babies R’Us located 20+ minutes away in the  western “burbs” to see the plethora of innovative and profitable inventions that cover every aspect of a new baby’s wants…needs and overall protection … which could be “over” protection when it really comes down to it!… Thus, the amusement in the timing of hearing the song  “A Different World” on my FM -HD radio on my new friend Cybex #1…..(prev. posts)…

There is a seat that sits the baby and stops he or she from doing the classic “weeble” moves as they are learning to sit up…No more will the new parent have to sit behind them or surround them with pillows as they invariably go all “wobbly” and end up slow-motion falling to the left…the right or backward like a bowl of jello!… No these youngins will never have to endure the Polaroids of their early mishaps due to large heads and not enough oomph yet to hold it altogether…They’ll be sitting on a chair that stops them from that embarrassment… Perhaps it’s a sign that it’s time to sell your Prozac stock as the lack of early falling over for this generation must surely mean anxiety levels will drop later in life for these lucky chair owners!…Yep, I purchased one in green with the matching tray attachments ….Don’t get me started on “attachments” ….”Attachments” are the bread and butter of baby manufacturers…the more of them the better …it’s like buying a new car!…

They have a “spa” for the baby…no resemblance to a bucket is this invention…On the box it looked like the old commercials that offered to turn your plain pink 50’s era bathtub into a “whirlpool” bath even though the water still only reached halfway up your thighs…and your knees were bent due to lack of length and don’t forget the noise level was set at jackhammer!… On this one “Nana” took a pass…

Swings no longer go only back and forth…they go sideways…and vibrate and …yep attached are toys….Just how many different toys can can one play mat hold?…As many as you want to pay for and in whatever motif …still gender based…which is surprising in to see that is still enforced…….

Baby strollers are also “attachment” crazed… First comes the stroller ….then comes the car seat that “attaches” to the stroller…with the “attached” base that stays in the car(s)……and don’t forget the vibrations…For what is life without feeling good vibrations 24/7?… (Umbrella strollers are relegated to the very end of the aisle sort of like a Yugo in a room full of  BMWs and Volvos)…

Want to carry the baby around hands free?……No slings (baby’s necks and large heads have been in the news of late…tragedy for many who used it before 4 mos.)…But carriers are lined up ….for the front …the back and for the guys… Cribs are no longer just cribs…they turn into beds…junior beds ….twin size beds …even sleigh beds…It only requires buying the “attachments’…. Matching dressers have changing “stations”… You don’t want to show your age by asking about changing “tables”…They do still make them… and they too morph in future years…becoming a desk…that is if you purchase the highchair that later becomes the chair to the “stations” desk!…

Diaper bags…again the choices are aplenty…with familiar names such as “Columbia” …and other adventure gear companies logos prominent on the front……Some smart marketing people realized they can mark up the bag with their name on it …It offers the buyer is a  little less chagrined when “He” walks with it sans his own bag that use to stow his old “adventure ” gear!… Special bottles…with or without insert bags…special nipples…and an assortment for those who want to be “green” and use “green” plastics that have none of  whatever it is that the “green” buyers think will seep into their new baby’s very being if it so much as touches their lips…

Electronics for all this paraphernalia that rivals the top of the line Cuisinart Food Processors sitting on your granite counter top …It’s for sterilizing everything from bottles to nipples to pacifiers….(We all know it’s really for the 1st child only…For child #2…3…and 4 …it’s sufficient to pop in your own mouth…stick it under the faucet or apply the 10 second rule!)…. If you purchase them all……you will end up with a counter full of them…and your food processor won’t be seeing the light of day for quite some time to come……

Monitors are a must!……No such thing as privacy for baby.anymore…..There’s a camera that monitors its every move…it even tells the temperature in the room…and then there’s the Angel Care device that monitors for breathing…and the alarm that goes off after any sort of delay…If the mothers and grandmothers are to be believed it is a must for it went off and saved the baby….real or unreal…it’s scary enough to be a must buy if you ever want to avoid the “Terms of Endearment” re-enactment with Shirley McClain pushing and prodding the baby sure it is breathing…. http://www.angelcare-monitor.com/United-States/en/home

More protection comes with saving the baby’s umbilical cord…purchased online ….if you can afford it…It’s to have in the future for anything that comes this baby or its siblings way…To be used for regenerative medicine that is sure to be standard medical practice in their lifetimes… http://www.cordblood.com/index.asp?fbid=zPGz11Ts5Yn

Babies no longer sleep on their stomachs …that was in the 80’s…(just like no epidurals)…. We were told it was required to keep the baby from choking if it spit up…as the “experts” were sure babies were unable to turn their heads…It was also to keep them from having a flat head…Now that’s a no-no…backs are the way to go… The “experts” now say those same babies who could not turn their head if they spit up cannot move their heads enough and that might have led to the increase in SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome)… http://www.sids.org/ndefinition.htm

They have pre-packaged “swaddling”…No need to learn how to do it with a blanket from the knowledgeable maternity nurses…and they have “sleepers” that look like a small size “sleeping bag” with arms instead of blankets…The thinking is these babies that cannot turn their heads can somehow move the blankets up over their heads and suffocate..HUH?… No matter they still seem to make sense…

The mattresses have 2 sides …one for the crib and one for the Junior bed…because the mattress for the crib is like a rock…again to prevent suffocation we are told… Sheets have made a big leap forward they now unzip from the corners and the sides…No need to undo the entire ensemble each time the baby …acts like a baby!…

There are mobiles wind up and battery operated and then there are “learning centers”…to start the baby on its way to that early admission to that private pre-k with the waiting list …Baby Einsteins one and all….no down time…for these little ones once they leave the womb!…

There are CDs…videos …and books …..All of them selling the latest theories of raising up this child…There are lactating experts…and child rearing gurus….and they all have one thing in common…expectant parents …who are ready… willing and able to buy what they are selling…all in an effort to get it right ….and give their children what we all want for them …a childhood worth remembering….

It’s definitely…”A Different World”…One that comes with a lot of love ..a lot of excitement and anticipation…and of course a lot of charges on the credit card!….

more to come….

Tags: , , , , , ,

Post Division